Death of an Accountant

Never have I made a decision with such conviction. It began with a sudden outburst in my accounting class about how pitifully boring the whole thing was. What followed was a character breakout from the most composed and brilliant accounting student I had come to admire.

He put forth regrets of not studying journalism or economics, “anything but accounting!” He had the passion of child and the regret of an old man. I realized that my lack of inspiration in the topic was shared by many, and I just handled it less gracefully.

Looking around the boring room I imagined the passions these people would rather be pursuing. I waited through class, giving my condolences, and went to the career centre to liberate myself of the subject. I am now a “general business” student. It doesn’t command nearly as much respect at cocktail parties, but I would rather be dancing anyhow.

It is tricky to know when to apply hedonism or focus on the luster of tomorrow. Surviving the jazz age, F. Scott Fitzgerald warns his daughter:

For premature adventure one pays an atrocious price. As I told you once, every boy I knew who drank at eighteen or nineteen is now safe in his grave. The girls who were called “speeds” at sixteen were reduced to anything they could get at marrying time. It’s in a logic of life that no young person ever “gets away with anything.” They fool their parents but not their contemporaries. I think that despite a tendency to self indulgence you and I have some essential seriousness that will manage to preserve us. Whatever your sins are I hope you never get to justify them to yourself.

Old Dogs, Old Tricks

Old dogs walk heartbreakingly into doors, and their aging tendencies are far from entertaining. At best, they are a reminder of better days, not unlike Robin Williams and John Travolta’s acting careers before Old Dogs. Similar to how scrubbing the last pee stain out influences the decision to put an old dog down, the paycheck received by Willams and Travolta must have consoled their choice of selling out on this lack-luster children’s comedy. The film is geared purely towards children, not throwing a witty comment or clever innuendo to the parents purchasing the movie tickets and suffering through the boringly predictable story line.

Two successful business partners enter the most important business deal of their lives when they are haunted by the repercussions of a wild trip to Miami. No it wasn’t a hangover, this is a Disney movie. Robin Williams’ character discovers he’s the father of 7 year old twins who need babysitting while their mother goes to jail.
Ella Bleu Travolta, daughter of John Travolta’s daughter makes her charming debut as a fraternal twin in Old Dogs. Comfortable on camera, Ella has elegance rather than playing a destructive blood pressure raising child. Instead, the slapstick comedy is rooted in fatherhood tribulations of balancing work and family as the intentions change from enduring the children to gaining their respect.

Bernie Mac makes his final appearance since his death in August 2008. His character is true to himself as a loud, fun-loving and friend enlisted in for parenting advice.

Williams and Travolta try to show off for the kids in an entertainingly violent Ultimate Frisbee game reminiscent of Travolta’s days in Pulp Fiction. Otherwise, the only enjoyment I could have received from this film was if I brought my 8 year old sister to take pleasure in her giggles at the poop and fart jokes. As it stands, I would rather convince her to go to New Moon, I’m sure she’s desensitized about vampires by now.

Published: The Cavalier Blog, Nov 25 2009
http://cavalier.cusonline.ca/

November: It's Raining

The Cavalier went to Whistler last weekend and embracing the wry sarcasm they value me for, my contributions to our meeting included:

1) Making student election candidates write profiles for their competitors instead of being covered by Cavalier writers. Glamorizing Little Miss. Commerce-Undergraduate-Society and her optimism for the Sauder School of Business may have killed me. Plus this gives them an opportunity to display how desperately tactful they are.

2) After the creative genius of decorating our sustainability issue with “leaves” and “trees” I mentioned that if we were really sustainable, we wouldn’t print that issue. Unfortunately this terrible idea was accompanied with a $500 printing savings and my readership will suffer. Look for The Cavalier Sustainability Issue in your inbox.

Leaves are being shoveled away by tractors and the streets are flooding

Beyond Pink? Beyond Reach!

[Response to expensive UBC conferences Beyond Pink and Enterprize]

I have never helped organize a conference nor do I know anything about conference budgets. However I do know that when I choke on the triple digit ticket price for Beyond Pink or Enterprize I am quickly informed of how subsidized the events are.

I understand things cost money, however I don’t understand why a regular ticket requires purchasing 2 nights at a hotel located 10 minutes from my house. It’s also disheartening that Enterprize gives away $100,000 in prizes when many students can’t afford to attend. The meals, swag and evening galas don’t interest me. Beyond Pink’s marketing had me regrettably excited to hear motivating stories of likeminded female entrepreneurs, until I saw the $270 price tag.

I like to think I am not the only student incapable of dropping a few hundred dollars to attend a conference. After pulling together my tuition, money shouldn’t pose as a barrier to how far I can educate myself at my university. This is not an unrealistic plea for equality, but I am disappointed to see opportunities at UBC that are skewed towards students without student loans.

My disappointment is not meant to inhibit the learning opportunity in organizing an extravagant conference, or to undermine the effort of its organizers. I will emphasize my lack of experience in organizing conferences, but the subsidized $270 ticket price seems convoluted with fancy hotels and meals.

The foremost purposes of these conferences are to motivate and educate. Tickets should be available for students to attend the speaker sessions without forcing us to pay for 5-star hotel accommodations and meals. It is fun to attend a glamorous weekend conference but don’t cater to the few who can afford it at the expense of denying other students the opportunity to motivate and educate themselves. In the future I hope there will be the choices to opt out of the extravagance and have my subsidized bus pass take me to see some brilliant speakers.

Published: The Ubyssey 2009.11.16

Carbon-Neutral Blockbuster Hits

Plastic bags have been ousted, is it time to change our movie preferences?

Environmentalism is very trendy and many businesses practice sustainable operations, if only to humor consumers. Hollywood however, is the exception. With explosive stunts, tight production schedules, and so much glamour, who cares about sustainability? Jessica Alba in spandex is appealing whether her outfit is made of organic material or not.

Film production is a nasty contributor to emissions. It is an industry where sustainable business practices are prioritized below the car explosion at set 2 and the finding parking for Jay Z’s Hummer. Since fewer chase scenes and opting out of unnecessary explosions are not options in my books, emissions will have to be cut elsewhere. Producers can be conscious in other aspects on set be held accountable for causing harm to the environment.

A report by “The California Waste Management Board” reported the film industry as Los Angeles’ second biggest contributor to conventional pollutants, greenhouse gas emissions, and tire consumption. Behind a feature length film there are months of set construction/destruction, endless filming, and running of generators and machinery - even romantic comedies have a daunting effect on the environment.

The Day After Tomorrow set the precedent for environmentally friendly film production when it became the first “carbon-neutral” film. Out of his own pocket, director Ronald Emmerich hired The Carbon Neutral Company to monitor the film production emissions, and later offset them by planting trees and investing in renewable energy. The cost was $200,000, a modest expenditure on a Blockbuster hit.

Hollywood remains unscathed from the sustainability revolution, for now. Eventually environmentalist efforts will weigh the harmful effects of film production into their movie selections. Then you can expect to see “carbon-neutral” film certifications pleading they have been responsible, and social pressures will influence theaters into only playing carbon-neutral certified films.

Once there is a system certifying films as having been environmentally responsible it will be an easy cause. Producers will have their films certified to avoid losing theater attendance, just like fathers are hopeless to say no when their children ask for ice cream. Big budget films are desperate for approval and the inexpensive price tag for environmentally friendly status will become routine production expenditure.

Sustainability films no longer refer to documentaries that belittle the audience into wanting to make a difference. Just like your laundry detergent, Blockbuster hits are about to become environmentally friendly.

Published: The Cavalier Sustainability Issue November 2009

Whistler: Few Anticipated Injuries

Whistler Film Festival December 3-6 2009

The Whistler Film Festival will have sport enthusiasts less inclined to pummel themselves down icy mountains during 9th annual film festival. Many Canadian filmmakers will hit the theaters and bars at this high profile event. The rest of us are invited too, just bring your evening wear and leave expectations of dreary 3-hour films at home.

It is only a 4 day event with an opening gala, a closing gala, and many soirees in between. Whether the emphasis is on partying or film screenings, it is a proud Canadian event mirroring the Cannes film festival. The festival showcases primarily Canadian cinema and hosts a ski race fundraiser against filmmakers in wintery Whistler.

If you attend one of the outdoor film screenings, bring a jacket. I put a request in for Titanic.

Published: The Cavalier November 2009

Film Pick: At the Edge of the World

Winner: Vancouver International Film Festival Environmental Film Audience Award

Tears were shed for sharks in Sharkwater, dolphins in The Cove, and the film At the Edge of the World provides an opportunity to feel wretched for whales. Volunteers crusade north with a film crew following Japanese whaling ships responsible for over 1000 whale deaths per year. Ambiguities in the law and jurisdictions allow whaling to continue, leaving activists as the last hope. It is a dangerous cause to defend. Protesting with signs is a luxury in city streets, but the desperate situation on the open ocean turns into a dangerous battle.

SHOWTIMES AT VANCITY THEATER, $8 Student Pricing (with $2 membership)

1181 Seymour Street

Nov. 17 - 8:15, Nov. 20 – 6:30, Nov. 21 - 6:30, Nov. 22 – 5:30 & 8:45, Nov. 23 – 8:15, Nov. 26 – 12:30

Published: The Cavalier November 2009

The Ubyssey’s VIFF preview

Various film review contributions
Published in the Ubyssey October 2009

http://ubyssey.ca/culture/?p=10427

VIFF: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

The Vancouver International Film Festival is over, and it is time to reap the benefits. The festival sifts through 377 film screenings to deliver the favorites for the rest of the year, no more nippy October rush lines required. Screen the best of VIFF at the Vancity Theater in luxurious seating at student prices. Film judgment is hardly necessary, only the most redeeming films continue playing in Vancouver.

The festival is an opportunity to showcase unique films the majority of society does not reserve patience for. The appeal of an artistic direction may be at the expense of the audience understanding.

Festival Follies unlikely to be seen again:

Sea Point Days
If you speak Swahili this is not a terrible film, however, the rest of us endured 1/2 of a non-subtitled film. This had half the audience feeling cultured while the rest grumbled through the beautiful scenic representation of Sea Point, Cape Town. Sea Point Days would have made a better postcard.

Where Are You?
This Japanese film begins with 5 minutes of a subtitled song and a blank screen; it did not pick up pace from there. Boredom had me resenting the destitute starving boy with a dying mother. I am sure that was not the director’s intention, maybe I am just insensitive.

The Agony and Ecstasy of Phil Spector
A heinous man commits murder and proceeds with a documentary film crew. The production strokes Spector’s ego as a music producer while mocking his eccentricities. Phil Spector took the life of Lana Clarkson and continues to rob people of their time in this loathsome autobiography.

Festival hits to look for at Vancity:

Unmade Beds
A love tangle between three immigrants living escapist party lives in London. Dealing with life’s turmoil to the beat of a memorable UK soundtrack, they find salvage in intimacy and friendship with one another. The characters are easily relatable, providing unique insight into their atypical endeavors.

Cooper’s Camera
The Cooper’s 1983 Christmas is a complication of uncomfortable holiday moments from a home video perspective. The belligerent grandmother hits a nostalgic note during the non-stop laughter of an empathetic audience. Staring The Colbert Report’s Samantha Bee, Cooper’s Camera is a Christmas must have.

Boy Interrupted
It was not a surprise when 15 year old Evan took his life through his bedroom window. His blatant obsession with dying began in preschool and by age 10 he wrote and starred in a school play about suicide. Boy Interrupted is insights the complex tragedy that was more than a momentary lapse in judgment.

The Jazz Baroness
A privileged Rockefeller abandons her family for the 1960’s jazz scene in New York. This BBC film documents the love story of the British Baroness giving up everything to be with Jazz legend Thelonious Monk. Every glamorous note of cigarettes and whisky is portrayed to a soulful soundtrack.

Festival fanatics are exhausted from the 16 day event, and despite the blustery economy VIFF 2009 was as successful as always. The end of the festival means those below average height can cease worrying about theaters reaching maximum capacity, making subtitled films like dodging trees. Also, the temporary social acceptance of bringing picnics into the theater has been lifted. Irritating noisy wrappers no longer state “I am a festival die hard with no other time to eat.”

The Cavalier, October 2009